DON’T LOOK BACK

Leaving an abusive relationship can be incredibly difficult, due to a variety of factors. Victims of abuse become isolated from friends and family and many times are also financially dependent on their abuser, making it even harder to envision being able to support themselves.

Some victims are burdened by health challenges or caregiving responsibilities should the victim share children with their abuser or other issues of health or related disability. Additionally, cultural, religious and societal pressures can make it challenging to break free from the cycle of abuse, and many times taught to believe that it comes along with the territory.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be overwhelming due to many factors. Still, it’s crucial to remember the long-term consequences of remaining are far worse. The long-term consequences of remaining in an abusive relationship far outweigh the benefits of staying.

The longer a victim remains in the abusive relationship, the harder it is to leave due to fear and the feeling as if they are on an emotional roller coaster. The outcome of abuse is one that erodes self-esteem, steal your self-confidence, and serves as a constant reminder to the victim that abuse is all they are worthy of. These negative emotions can hinder personal growth and prevent individuals from achieving lifelong goals, and truly living life without fear.

But the good news is that it’s never too late to leave an abusive relationship. No matter how many times you’ve tried and couldn’t find the strength, please know that in making the decision to leave, you find the courage to take back your life. Regardless of age, race, gender, or societal expectations, it’s possible to break free and rebuild your life.

If you worry about what others will think or say about your decision to leave, Remember, people will talk about you regardless, yet inspite of them, the most important thing is to focus on your own well-being and make the decision that you know within, is right for you.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be painful, but it’s essential for healing and personal growth.

 Healing is a process, and leaving is the first step.

Choosing to heal means choosing yourself, without apology or regret. It’s a time to focus on your own needs and well-being. When you love yourself first, you attract people who love you, love themselves, and most importantly love God.

Remember, God doesn’t want anyone to perish and that includes remaining in a relationship that he has not called you to. His desire is for you to live a fulfilling and purposeful life.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
—Jeremiah 29:11

As you walk into freedom, you will begin to dream again, see the possibilities of what life has to offer, and rediscover the power of your voice. It’s only on this road of healing you allow God to reignite the vision he predestined for you that enables you to break the yoke of bondage that seeks to imprison you to a life never intended for you.

No one has the authority to dictate your purpose or how you should live your life. But it’s your responsibility to stop giving them the keys to your destiny!

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please share this information with them. While this not be an exhaustive list of signs, it can offer hope and encouragement. Healing is possible, and freedom is a reality. 

Let it be yours!

Below are some of the signs of abuse but are not limited to; 

Physical Abuse:

• Visible injuries: Bruises, cuts, burns, or broken bones.
• Unexplained absences from work or school.
• Changes in appearance or behavior.
• Fear of being alone.

Emotional Abuse:

• Constant criticism or belittling.
• Isolation from friends and family.
• Controlling behavior.
• Threats or intimidation.
• Gaslighting (making the victim question their own reality).

Psychological Abuse:

• Constant monitoring or tracking.
• Excessive jealousy or possessiveness.
• Threats of self-harm or suicide.
• Attempts to control finances or access to resources.

Financial Abuse:

• Denying access to money or credit cards.
• Preventing the victim from working.
• Forcing the victim to give up assets.

Healing from domestic abuse is a journey that’s unique to each individual. It’s important to remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Seek Professional Help:

• Therapy: A therapist who specializes in trauma or domestic violence can provide a safe space to process your emotions and develop coping mechanisms.   
• Support Groups: Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can offer validation and support.   

2. Prioritize Self-Care:

• Physical Health: Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.   
• Emotional Health: Practice mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing techniques.   
• Mental Health: If you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, seek professional help.

3. Build a Support Network:

• Trusted Friends and Family: Lean on people who can offer emotional support and practical assistance.   
• Community Resources: Explore local organizations that offer support services for survivors of domestic abuse.  

4. Reclaim Your Identity:

• Set Goals: Focus on personal and professional goals to help rebuild your self-esteem.   
• Explore Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.   
• Learn New Skills: Taking classes or workshops can boost your confidence.

5. Practice Self-Compassion:

• Be Patient with Yourself: Healing takes time, and there will be setbacks.   
• Avoid Blame: Remember that you’re not responsible for the abuse.
• Celebrate Your Progress: Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small.

Remember: Healing is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed.

Originally published at https://larissaslovenotes.com on March 27, 2021.